I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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