No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
