Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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