Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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