I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
