And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
