Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize