some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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