two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
