Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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