I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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