yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think I just sharted jello shots
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