he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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