Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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