note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The air was thick with penises
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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