I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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