if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
