I need help removing her.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
