Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
