Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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