Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
