Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
dude. I can hear the air.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
