if you like me you must not know who I am
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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