***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
