Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
