...so i touched it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
