so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
