I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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