i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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