We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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