and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
