I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
