I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize