The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
