i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
