Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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