Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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