i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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