But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If I die, sorry about rent.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
