Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
