We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
