I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
