I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
