Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize