he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
