You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's just like the Real World with babies
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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