Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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