Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
