Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
