maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
