ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
