mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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