Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
