It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize