oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
