That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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