i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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