No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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