He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
