Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
