so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I intend to get homeless drunk
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
