Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
