YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
