In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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