It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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