I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
