does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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